Earlier tonight I went to Atlanta to see Tony Conrad do a performance. Afterwards I stopped and had coffee at the Majestic diner. I caught up with my old department head, Sara Hornbacher and her husband Rob. I left there around 3 in the morning and started the 65 mile drive to Adairsville.
I listened to the Great Expcetation's soundtrack as I drove my sister's car down I75 with the car on cruise control at 75. I stopped by a gas station where I purchased a pack of Marlboro reds from a bearded man with a gruff drawl. Then I blasted country music and sang along. Five minutes from the house on old 41 a raccoon ran out into the road causing me to slam on my breaks and swerve. The car, raccoon and I all turned out fine. I drove on at a slower pace. When I arrived to the house it was about 4:20 in the morning. My sister left the porch lights on for me. I went to the first door and tried the key but it only opened the top lock. I went around to the front door and and unlocked the door but they had the chain on. Finally I walked around to the back porch and my dad's weimareiner, Ray, rose up from his sleep and growled and started running toward me. I said Ray, ray, ray! and he jumped on me, I ran and screamed bloody murder and Ray bit the hell out of my back. Then he went back on the porch. That was the first time I have ever seen a dog attack a person and the person was me. I took out my cell phone and called inside the house. My sleepy Mama answered and I told her
"come let me in the house the dog just attached me"
"which one?"
"Ray"

So when I could hear my Mama at the door I grabbed some rocks and started chucking them at Ray, sadly I didn't hit him. I went into the house and started crying. I didn't want to. My Mama has see me freak out enough in her life but I was so shaken up I couldn't help it. I took off my coat, pulled up my shirt and asked my Mama to if there was a mark on my back. She said yes and I bent down to let Kiah's little puppy out of it's kennel. My sister asked me to take him out. She gave him to Kiah yesterday. He looks like a little bear. Kiah named him Prince Poo Follower.
My Mama told me not to let that puppy out to pee on her rug but I needed a sweet animal to restore my faith in the kindness of dogs. I took out the puppy, held him and cried. Then I got up and looked at my back in the mirror. I saw that Ray broke the skin, even through my wool coat. My mama came with some neosporean and bandages. I had turned on the barn lights because I wanted to take Ray out to his pin but when I opened the door he growled at me and Mama told me to leave him alone. I cussed at him and shut the door. My mama doctored my back and I asked
"What are you going to do when that dog attacks one of your babies?"
"he did attach one of my babies"
"I mean little babies"
Then I took Prince Poo Follower out onto the front porch. He went into the grass and took a poo. I was proud of him and gave him a treat. As I type this Prince Poo Follower is sleeping in my lap.

EVIL FUCKING DOGS!!!!!!!!!